Hello Again

Yeah, it’s me.  Typing away on my long neglected blog.  I’m not dead yet.  I’ve just been really busy with all kinds of writing stuff, that I haven’t had much time or energy to barf up my opinions on the world lately.  But here is some brief thoughts of what’s been on my mind:

1.  NBC’s Olympic coverage was horrible, as usual.  Seriously, if I don’t see another beach volleyball match on TV for another four years, I’d feel pretty blessed.

2.  Obama vs. McCain in November.  This has the potential to be the second coming of the Kennedy-Nixon race, where the winner may have been different in an age of no mass media.

3.  Chargers over the Cowboys in the Super Bowl.  Note:  I thought of this before Tom Brady blew out his knee.

4.  Went to Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina for a few days in August.  Had a blast.  I would highly recommend a trip there.  You won’t be disappointed.

5.  I have grown to really enjoy the magic that is Facebook.

6.  I’ve just noticed how shrill my neighbor’s birds can sound when they make noise.  I need to leave the room now.

Time to See How Stupid I was This Season

If you have been coming to this site since July, three recurring motifs have been undoubtedly etched into your psyche regarding it:

1.) I enjoy NFL football. So much so, that it’s probably a little too much for my own health. And that’s been accomplished without me divulging some of the more embarrassingly telling aspects of my fandom, such as trying to convince my wife to decorate the kitchen in Charger blue and gold. (Indeed, I did suggest this, even leaving the option open as to what shade of Charger blue to use.)

2.) I love to make predictions about the league, its teams, and its games, and I have no problem letting you know if my vision of the future does turn out to be spot-on.

3.) I don’t get a lot of chances to brag, on account of me being a royal idiot when it comes to such predictions.

Now that the Super Bowl has passed, and the NFL season has all but officially closed up shop, I thought it would be fun to take a look at a sampling of my brazen yet woebegone prognostication “skills” (and I absolutely use that last word loosely.) What you are about to read is some of the stuff I wrote in the pre-season. Let’s see how unintentionally hilarious this could be:

Week 10 Wrap-Up: I’m too Tired from my Las Vegas Trip to Come Up with a Better Title than This

*It’s a good thing that Vegas found other ways to pay me to hang out there for three days, because the NFL sure didn’t do their part. The fact that I came back home with more money than I left with does not change the fact that the Indianapolis Colts and the Kansas City Chiefs need to die in a fire for being co-conspirators in ruining my three-game parlay.

*Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that technology has pretty much turned the classic three-team parlay from a wager that can serve to reward intelligent fans into a flat-out sucker bet. Teams have gotten so good at studying each other through the use of video, television, and specialized scouting through various means of multimedia, the good teams are completely afraid to play to the best of their ability unless they aboslutely have to out of fear that they might tip their hand to a better opponent. Case in point: Indianapolis hosted a Buffalo Bills team that was not only led by shaky QB J.P. Losman, they were without the services of Willis McGahee. This is a team that the Colts should have beaten by three touchdowns, especially since the Bills only ran 43 plays. However, Indy squeaked by them by a point. In fact, Losman only threw the ball 12 times, which is a number you may expect if Buffalo had won the game by 30. As much as I’d like to say that Buffalo played a fantastic game in nearly pulling the upset, I can’t, because the Colts played the game passively, like a Texas Hold’em player who has a nut flush but doesn’t do anything in his power to milk as much chips from his competitors as possible. This time, it almost cost them, but that probably won’t deter them from using the same strategy in the future, especially as the playoffs near. And the Colts aren’t alone. Denver does the same thing. So does Baltimore. As does it seem every team with a winning record. And that makes it almost impossible to find a decent three-team parlay that you can trust with 85% of your heart, like it was back in the day. Let’s just move on. I’m starting to tear up.

*Let me go on record right now that you will not see another better football game this year than the Chargers-Bengals game. Period, end of story. You know how the NFL re-broadcasts the four best games of the previous week during the current one? They should just show that sucker four times. The Chargers looked like the best team in the NFL during the second half of that game. Certainly, they are the best offense in the league right now. If you don’t agree with that, I have 42 ways I can argue that point of contention with you. Or I can just have Marlon McCree lay you out when you’re not looking. And by the way, are we sure Phillip Rivers hasn’t been in the NFL for a decade? He certainly looked like it on Sunday.

*Remember when I told you to draft LaDanian Tomlinson if you had the first overall pick in your fantasy league this year? You’re welcome.

*Hopefully, the injuries that could have been sustained from people jumping off the “Michael Vick is learning how to throw” were kept to a minimum. Seriously, is there anyone else in the league who is more mercurial than Vick? Next year, they should just implement the option down in Atlanta. Anyting to keep Vick from hoisting up errant passes.

*Meanwhile, it looks like Drew Bledsoe is out of a job in Dallas, since Tony Romo has looked spectacular iver the past two weeks. Seeing as how I don’t think he’s quite reached the “I’m in my mid to late 30s, and my game is declining, so I’m going to mentor a young quarterback” phase of his career, it’s not that difficult to see him becoming catatonic for another team next year. A team like Minnesota, for example.

*I could watch the video of Reggie Bush scoring his first NFL rushing TD for at least several minutes. That was reminiscient of the score he had against Texas in the BCS Championship Game. His numbers are not mind-blowing, but they will be down the road. He’s way too talented not to put up big numbers.

*You’d think that an NFL team would be smart enough to prepare for the Bears and their very dangerous “108 yard missed field goal return” play. You’d think they’d learn from last year.

Week 9 Wrap-Up: Peyton’s Place (Because There’s No Super Bowl to be Had)

*The most interesting aspect of Sunday’s Colts-Patriots game occured during the post-game interview, when Peyton Manning had this smug “we ARE better than you” look on his face. He’s remarkable. The words coming out of his mouth were all the right things to say — humble, knowledgable, respectful of the game’s history and its players — but that look on his face seemed to undermine all of that somehow. Let’s see him handle defeat more gracefully than he did last year, then I’ll be more willing to buy into his verbiage.

*Speaking of the Colts and losing, why has everyone pounced on the Indy bandwagon again and spouting off the same exact drivel from last year? You know the questions: “Will they go undefeated?” “Can anyone challenge this team?” “Will Peyton Manning be denied again?” The answers to those questions are still “no,” “yes,” and “of course he will.” This seems like the same exact team as last year’s model, with the exception of an upgrade at kicker and a downgrade at running back (and the downgrade is not as bad as the upgrade). We all know what happened last year; why should this time around be any different?

*The enormously loud melange of screeching tires and twisted metal you heard this weekend was the sound of the Chicago Bears’ bandwagon as it crashed violently, injuring about 580,000 people at the initial rough estimate. As easy as it is to blame Rex Grossman — who does deserve his fair share of such — the defense was just as responsible for letting the anemic Dolphins run effortlessly through them. Suddenly, they don’t look like the mortal lock for the NFC’s Super Bowl berth like they did a week ago.

*In fact, the New York Giants are coming dangerously close to filling that sudden occupancy. You know that the G-Men could have wiped the Texans off the face of the planet if they didn’t have one collective eye trained on next week’s epic showdown. But they went through the motions, and did all they needed to do to beat the vastly inferior team. Expect them to play with a little more pulse this coming Sunday.

*So much for Michael Vick being the second coming of Steve Young, eh? Thanks for the stats the last couple of weeks, Mike, but all of that kinda becomes invalidated on account that you lost to the Lions, thusly giving Roy Williams a chance to shoot off his annoying maw about how secretly great Detroit is.

*Remember back in the day, whenever the Raiders were on Monday Night Football, and Frank Gifford and friends would always dust off that obnoxious stat about the Raiders being something rediculous like 45-3-2 in MNF contests? Well, I did, which is why the current stat of the Raiders getting defeated by a combined score of 43-0 on MNF this year brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. Their new slogan should be “Commitment to…Something.”

*Well, we’ve put off talk of zombie Favre never retiring for one more week. But be prepared, football fans; He will be back by the seasons’ end.

*If you would have suspected that Damon Huard would make it tough for the Chiefs to return to Tood Green at quarterback, Brad Gradkowski would be starting for the Bucs, The Saints would be 6-2, and the New York Jets are in a position where they could take a playoff spot, then you have just earned the right to write next week’s post. Cheers to you.

Dear Mighty Ducks of Anaheim

Have fun golfing,

The Edmonton Oilers.

(I so called it. Go me.)